A Band Divided (At Sharkey's playing the Next Big Thing) He's so (yeah) He's so He's so funky Well lookee here All dudes and dudettes Got something dope that you haven't seen yet With the freshest rhymes I'm gonna move ya (Move ya) And body and mind I'm gonna groove ya (Groove ya) Everyone will know me From here to Peking Oh yeah (Oh yeah) Oh yeah I'm the next big thing Ooh He's phat (He's large) He's the king (He's so funky) Oh yeah (Oh yeah) He's the next big thing (Girl he's fine) He's the next big thing Well if your looking to find the ultimate trip Search no further cause I am it (oh yeah) Anything you need I will deliver Talent so sublime it'll make you shiver Once you get to know me (know me) And you heard me sing You'll say (I'll say) Ooh He's phat (He's large) He's the king (I'm the king) Oh yeah He's the next big thing (I'm the next big thing) He's the next big thing (guitar solo) (Everybody get up come on) Ooh He's phat (He's so funky) He's the king (He's huge) Oh yeah (Oh yeah) He's the next big thing Ooh He's phat (He's so funky) He's the king Oh yeah (Oh Yeah) I'm the next big thing Jake: The next song goes out to our friends Sly and Lorena because it's sweet and romantic sound reminds us of their love. (amp starts to squeak) Lorena: Hey hey that's not our love Sly: Yeah that's more like elephant love Tony: Yeah Mark come on fix the amp I mean nobody knows these high tech hooty booties like you Mark: You got it Jake: All right everybody just hold tight we're be right back just as soon as (amps squeals and breaks) soon as we get a new hooty bootie. Thank You Tiffani: This stinks a decent amps gonna cost us at least a thousand dollars. Lorena: Um.... Guys I can loan you enough to get a new amp Sam: Really Lorena you'd do that for us Lorena: Sure I love the Dreams Sly: And we love you (puts arms around Lorena) Jake: Wow how can we ever repay you? Lorena: By making me CO-mangers of the band. Gang: No uh-huh Jake: Uh I was thinking fifty cents a month for the next two hundred years (Lorena shakes head no) (At Lorena's loft) Sly: You know I never thought of Lorena has being CO-Manger but it could be a great idea I say we do it. Tony: I don't know man I mean what if she books us some lame gigs. Sly: I'll slap her Mark: What if she wants us to where some la-da- costumes? Sly: I'll slap her Jake: What if she gets caught kissing someone else? Sly: I'll kill her Tiffani: That could be a problem Sly: Yeah but it doesn't have to be you see a lot of couples in love work together uh....Sonny and Cher, Bonnie and Clyde, Batman and Robin. Tony: (with three fingers) Sly those couples are either shot, divorced or men. Sly: Okay so those are bad examples but I guarantee that Lorena and I will be perfect together guys have I ever lied to you before (gang sighs) have I lied to you lately (gang sighs again) have I lied to you in the last few minutes. Gang: No Tiffani: Guess not Jake: All right lets vote on it all those in favor of making Lorena CO-Manger raise their hand (raises hands) Sly: Oh this is perfect I never thought you'd go for it (Sly heads for door) I'm surprised, I'm shocked (opens door) hey Lorena I told you they'd go for it. Lorena: Yes thanks guys and here's your new amp Gang: Hey ooh Jake: Look you two the future of our band is in your hands it's gonna take a lot of compromise so your both gonna have to choke down those egos all right. Sly: Hey what's so egotistical about being right all the time. Lorena: And don't worry about me I'm gonna take this job seriously and live up to my responsibilities. Sam: Great what are you gonna do first? Lorena: Buy a new outfit a manger has got to look good. Sly: Hey I'll go with you I'm also great at picking out clothes (Sly and Lorena leave) Mark: Okay the new amps hooked up. Jake: Great lets check it out Mark: Here's to our new CO-Mangers (Electricity goes out) Tony: Dum dum dum Jake: Knock it off Tony: Okay (At school) Sly: Okay there's the dance chairmen now this guy is tuff he will never throw in free refreshments for the band. Lorena: Oh that's awful their throats must get dried from singing. Sly: Yeah that's why god invented water fountains. Now listen your new at this all you have to do is watch listen and learn. Lorena: Right Sly: Okay (They walk over to the dance chairmen) Sly: (clears throat) how's it going all right to play the school dance the Dreams want 500 dollars. Lorena: and they want free refreshments Sly; Just give us one moment psst uh.. Lorena remember when I said watch listen and learn. Lorena: Yeah Sly: Well what I meant was Watch listen and learn Lorena: Right Sly: Right okay. Right in edition to the money instead of two brakes we want three. Lorena: And we want free refreshments Sly: (laughs) Just give us a second k yeah okay oh honey yeah come here remember when I said watch listen and learn two times Lorena: Yeah Sly: Yeah well what I meant was watch listen and learn and stay over here while you do it Lorena: Right Sly: Okay so like I was saying we want three brakes that are 20 minutes each the band needs their rest. Lorena: and we want free refreshments Sly: Would you forget about the refreshments already Lorena: No there important the band needs something to drink while they play Sly: It's not a deal breaker Lorena I'm trying to make them some more money here. Lorena: Well maybe we should make a little less money and get the drinks. Sly: I think we should make a little more money and they can buy drinks if they want them. Chairmen: Excuse me Sly and Lorena: What? I'm sorry she's new at this I'm sorry can I help you? Chairmen: While you guys work out your problems I'm going to go hire a DJ for the dance I know a guy who brings his own slurpries. Sly: (laughing) I can't believe you Lorena any further negations I want you to be quite got it. Lorena: No I've got good ideas and you need to listen to them got it. (Lorena walks away) Sly: Your not listening (Lorena's loft) Tiffani: You lost the school dance what did you guys do? Sly and Lorena: (at the same time) ask her ask him Jake: I think I could guess what happened Sly: Forget it Jake you could never guess not in a million years it's impossible Jake: Because of your big egos neither of you would compromise Sly: Okay you guessed. Lorena: Look I know we have to work this out some how but don't worry from now on we won't have anymore problems. Sly: Cause we're gonna do things my way Sly and Lorena: (together) my way, no my way Tiffani: (whistles) Don't you guys know that compromising means giving a little bit so you both get something you want (Sly and Lorena quiet) I guess not. Sam: Let me try okay here's the cookie you both want the cookie but there's only one what do you do? Sly and Lorena: My cookie my cookie my cookie Jake: That's it no more CO-mangers Lorena take back your amp we're played unplugged gigs for the rest of our lives if we have to. Sly: No wait we can do this if we really want it to work. Lorena: Yeah please just give us one more chance we're go out right now and find the Dreams another gig. Jake: Well all right one more chance but don't mess it up this time Sam: I don't see what the hurry is we can rehearse our new amp keeps blowing the power. Jake: Don't worry about it I'll take care of it Tiffani: Your gonna return it for a smaller one Jake: Nah that's to much work I'm gonan rewire the house Tiffani: Whoa Jake that seems like a pretty big job you don't think you can do it by yourself do you. Jake: Of course not I have help Tony: Electricians Wicks and Winkle at your service Sam: Are you sure this is okay with Lorena? Mark: Yeah we're making her house better. Tony: Yeah much better (slams hammer in his hand) ow Jake: Okay men that's the outlet Tony and Mark: Men, Men, Men Mark: Yup that's the outlet Tony: It's a fine looking outlet isn't it Jake: All right we need to follow the wires from the outlet to the circuit breaker Mark and Tony: To the circuit breaker Jake: Hey wait you num. skulls the wires follow the studs all we have to do is tap the wall and find the stud Tony: Check Checkaroo lets see tap, tap stud, tap, tap stud tap, tap uh no stud (At Sharkey's) Jake: What happen? Gang: Yeah tell us Sly: Ummm...you tell them Lorena: No you tell them Sly: Oh so now you don't want to talk Jake: I'm gonna say this real slow so you both well understand What happened? Sly: We blew it again Jake: You blew the private party gig Lorena: We blew all the gigs you can't play at Sharkey's anymore Tiffani: Okay we can't play at school and now we can't play at Sharkey's anymore either so now the only place left to play is at Lorena's loft I hope your planning lots of parties sister. Sly and Lorena: (together) It's his...her..fault Jake: All right that's it unless you two learn to compromise we're dead let me tell you a little bed time story my mother told me and Kyle when we're fighting. Tiffani: Ah I love bed time story (Jake looks at Tiffani) Jake: Once upon a time there was a king who had two sons and one day when they were out hunting the king was gored to death by a wild boar. Sam: Ugg.. your mother told you that as a bedtime story Jake: No Kyle just added that part to give me nightmares anyway, the king died without saying which brother would become king so consequently both brother became king. (Gang dreaming) Trumpet guy: (blows horn) Like announcing his majesty the king.(enter Jake) (blows horn again) like announcing his other majesty the king (enter Tony) Tony: Good morrow brother how thoust thy morning progress Jake: Fine look do you have to talk like that it gives me a headache Tony: It is the way a king talks and if your head hurts I can have removed for the evening Trumpet guy: (blows horn) like announcing the royal secretary Mark: Good morning your hiniasssss Jake: Yes yes whatever Mark: First on this mornings agenda a pheasant from the East Village. Trumpet guy: (blows horn) Like announcing a pheasant from the East Village Jake: Do we have to do that every time? Tiffani: Sires I come from the East Village Jake: Yeah, yeah we heard the trumpet guy what's up? Tiffani: Well we're starving we have no food Jake: What about all the broccoli I told you to plant? Tiffani: We're confused we we're about to plant the broccoli but someone said to plant cauliflower instead. Jake: What kind of a lame brain would contradict the king Tony: How dare you call me a lame brain I am king and I want cauliflower Jake: And I'm king and I want broccoli. Tony: Oh boy there is only one way to settle this prepair to become a vegatable brother. Jake: As long as it's broccoli brother. (Jake and Tony sword fighting) Trumpet Guy: (blows horn) like announcing the royal bottanisst the bot the veggie chick Sam: You majesty I have solved your problem I have invented brociflower it's half broccli and half colliflower Jake: It's okay but it's not as good as broccoli. Tony: It is fair Mark: Sires please compromise you both get half of what you want and your save the villiagers. Jake: Well all right then brociflower is cool with me then Tony: Yes, yes me too Tiffani: Oh thank you Sires because of your compromise the villiagers are saved Eveyone: Hooray, hooray (dream sequence ends) Tiffani: So now do you understand how good it is to compromise Sly: Uh no but I see how good it is that Lorena and I don't have swords Lorena: Yeah forget this meeting of the middle garbage you need to pick one of us for your manager. Mark: But what about the..... Lorena: No buts it's either me or him (Lorena's loft) Sam: I can't believe Sly and Lorena are making us choose I hate having to take sides Jake: I'm voting for Lorena Sam: How come? Jake: So she dosen't kill me for destroying her house Tiffani: Boy I hope this new amp is worth all the trouble. Sam: Please tell me you guys are finally finished Jake: We are completely one hundred percent finished. (touches amp and gets electruicted) Tony: Except for one last loose wire Mark: I hate this Sly and Lorena are both are friends I can't pick one over the other Tiffani: Hey you know when surfers have a disbut they take their case to surf court and let judge Mauizaui decide. Sam: Well we can't seem do it so maybe the surf judge can help us Jake: Uh-huh I got it no more loose wires watch this (plugs in amp gang covers ears) Gang: Hey Mark: Jake I still think there's a loose wire Jake: Shut-up Mark (At Sharkey's) Surfer dude: Like announcing the honorable judge Mauizaui Tiffani: This is exciting judge Maui is legendary I heard he is the smartest,wisest, most recepent surfer in the world. Judge: Okay dudes which one of you is Sly and which one is Lorena Tiffani: I only heard Judge: Okay I think I no the sits. I'm gonna carefully consider all the facts involved here okay I made my decision from this day forward the Dreams manger will be (drum roll) Sly Winkle. Sly: Yes Lorena: Oh this is awful I only wanted to become CO-Mangers to be part if the California Dreams now I'm less than a groupie I blew it. Judge: Whoa rock my reef Betty okie-dok like I'm ready to make my real decision Lorerna rules I hear by name her soul manager of the Dreams. Lorena: Whoo Sly: What you can't do that? Judge: Hey tell tell it to the judge dude oh right I am the judge Jake: Yeah it it pretty weird Sly but we all agreed to go with whatever the judge said Judge: Dig merbabe I need to book a band for my beach bash since I gave you a brake how about you give me the Dreams for free. Lorena: Well you did give me brake but I'm not the band can't you do something for them like uh....uh.. free refreshments. Sly: Don't do it Lorena your right the band shouldn't play for free Lorena: Thank you Sly now get out of here if we can't compromise then we can't work together. Sly: Look it's not easy but I know we can do it look I know you have alot of opinions and some of them are even better than mine. Lorena: Thanks Sly I know you have more experience than I do I guess there's stuff you can teach me. Sly: Yeah that's right togther no one can stop us Lorena:Yeah so judge if you want the Dreams to play at your gig your gonna have to deal with us together. Sly: That's right Judge: Well what can I say besides pscy. Sly and Lorena: Huh Judge: Like there's no party I just made that up to see if you love the band enough to get beyond your egos and work togther. Sly and Lorena: We do Judge: And now for like my ultimate decision by the power invested in me the chicken in the sea I hear by proclaim Sly and Lorena CO-Mangers Sly and Lorena: Yes (They kiss) Tiffani:See I told he was smart Jake: (laughing) Your in good mood now Lorena: I feel great Jake: Great lets go look at your house now. (They leave) The End