"Senior Prom" Jake: "Hey guys, guess what? Great news." Tiffani: Jake and I are running for Senior Prom Kind and Queen Lorena: Hold on, time out, put the cabash on. You're running for prom king? What happened to "Jake Sommers doesn't do proms'? Jake: Well, since Tiff and I kinda messed up our Junior Prom - Mark: Oh man, I heard how Tiff ended up kissing some rich guy and you - (Jake makes a face) Uh, oh. So Lorena, you going to the prom? Lorena: Oh, year, me and my brand new designer prom gown. Tiffani: Who you going with? Lorena: I just said my brand new designer prom gown. I just figured I'd dance with all the guys having fights with their dates. Happens all the time at proms, right Jake? (Jake gives Lorena a look) Lorena: Uh, oh. So Mark you going to the prom? Mark: Yeah, I'm taking Erica Hanson. We're gonna have the time of our lives. Jake: Congrats, man. When did you ask her? Mark: Uh, tomorrow? (Enter Sam and Tony) Tony: Hey guys great news. Sam: Tony and I are running for prom kind and queen. Tiff, Mark, Lorena, Jake: Uh, Oh! Tiffani: Um, Jake and I are running too. Sam: Even after last - Jake: We're trying to make up for last year. Sam: Oh, hey, well I understand just maybe Tony and I should back out. Tony: I dont' wanna back out. I wanna wear the crown and get the roses and walk down the runway. Sam: Uh, Tony that's Miss America. Tony: Right, right. We'll back out...that's cool. I mean we're friends and everything we don't wanna run against each other. Tiff: Guys, why don't we both just run? Sam: And compete against each other? Jake: Sam, I'll be fun - no competition Tiff: Yeah, and no matter who wins at least its one of us. Tony: Sounds cool to me (Enter Sly) Sly: Hey guys guess what, great news! Mark: You're running for prom queen? Sly: Yeah, that's right Mark. I'm running for queen in the town of make-believe. Why don't you go there now and vote for me? Mark: What if I wanna vote for somebody else? (Sly takes Marks hand and puts it in front of his face then slaps Mark's hand back where it hits him in the face) Sly: Guys, I just booked the Dreams to play a Junior High Prom the same day as PCH's prom. All: What?! Sly: Not at the same time! What do you think I am a complete moron? Tiff: Wow! Its like he can read my mind. Sly: Look its simple. We get dressed after school, hope in the van play the gig, and jam back in time for our prom. Sam: Forget Sly, no one wants to rush around like that. Sly: Oh, no, then how do you plan to pay for your prom tickets, your tuxes, your...etc. Tony: Oh man, that's easy...we'll...uh,....uh.....Shot gun in the van! (AT PCH) Tiff: Hey Mark did you ask Erica to the prom yet? Mark: Oh yeah, just...not out loud. Lorena: Guys we surveyed the senior class and Jake and Tiffani are by far the best choice for favorite for King and Queen. Sam: I don't get it...why are you so concerned who's gonna win? Lorena: Why? Why are we concerned? Because we're your friends, and we care and --- Sly: We made a bet. Lorena: I bet on Jake and Tiff because losing to you guys would be like Romeo and Juliet losing to Betty and Barney Rubble. Sly: And I bet on Sam and Tony because no one's gonna vote for you guys after what happened at the Junior Prom. (laughs) Remember that? Actually its kinda funny. (The gang shakes their head at Sly) Sly: Not funny at all Mark: I can't believe you guys made a bet. That's horrible. Being prom kind and queen doesn't have anything to do with money. Lorena: Neither does our bet. If Jake and Tiffani win, Sly has to stand up at the prom and admit he's the most despicable slime ball in the world. Sly: Right! And if Betty and Barney...Doh! I mean, Sam and Tony win Lorena had to admit she's the most selfish spoiled woman on earth. Tiffani: You guys, we don't care how wins, why should you? Jake: Look, honey, the whole soccer team's voting for us. Tiff: Score! Tony: I hate to see if you did care about winning. Tiff: Weill it is fun. Tony: Sure for you, you're winning. Mark: Cut it out guys. I can see where this is heading. I'm warning you, don't let a popularity contest come between your friendships Lorena: You're absolutely right, Mark. Come on guys lets go practice your victory dance! Mark: Well, I guess I'll go ask Erica to the prom. No use putting it off forever. Sly: Hey Mark, isn't her locker that way? Mark: Yeah, uh, I'll take the long way. Sam: Wow, I can't believe them. 'Look honey, the whole scoccer team voted for us'. Tony: Yeah, and 'Look honey, the whole scoccer team voted for us.' Oh, you just said that? Sly: I think its time I tip the scale in your favor. Unless you don't want me to? Sam: We don't want you to Sly (winks at him) Tony: Yeah, Sly, no tricks (Tony winks at him and gives him a thumbs up sign) Sly: Don't worry I won't. (winks back, comes closer to Tony and Sam) You guys understand I'm really gonna do something? Tony: Yeah! (Sharkeys) Surf dude: Hey King and Queen dudes, I just wanna wish you an early "I'm not worthy!" Jake: Thanks, now get up surf dude: Oh, no I mean King Tony and Queen Sam. Like what were you the King of Jake? Jake: France. Scram-may-voo. Tiffani: Wow, that's been happening all day. Tony: Wow, I wonder how I wonder so. (Enter Sly) Sly: Well it looks like Tony and Sam are PCH Royalty Jake: What makes you so sure. (Sly unfoldes school newspaper with the headlines reading: "Looks like Tony and Sam are PCH Royalty" Sam: You're not jealous are you? I mean you are happy for your friends right? Tiffani: Absolutely, friendship is a lot more important to us than winning. (Enter Lorena) Tiffani: Lorena, we're losing! Lorena: That's becuase wesel Winkle switched the school paper's headlines. Here's the real one. (Lorena holds up paper with headline reading "Sloopy Joe sues caferteria for stealing name") Tiffani: I can't believe you two were so smarmy, you got Sly to cheat for you. Tony: Now hold on, that just makes me mad. Jake: Oh, you deny putting Sly up to it? Tony: No, I just don't like being called smarmy. (enter Mark) Mark: Guys, Erica said she'll go to the prom with me! Tiffani: That's great Mark, now you can convince her to vote for us too! Sam: Get real cowa-blondie! He's voting for us! Jake: No he's voting for us. (Jake grabs Mark by the arm) Tony: He's voting for us. (Tony grabs Mark's other arm) Tiffani: No us! Sam: No us! (Jake and Tony are pulling Mark back and forth by the arm) Mark: Uh, this possibly can be an example of how compition can get out of control. (Next Scene, next day) (Lorena runns in Sharkey's with a radio) Lorena: And now PCH now take a look at why Jake and Tiffani are the ultimate romatic couple. See how they make the perfect prom king and queen. (Jake and Tiff start dancing to a slow song while the group of students watch, then Sam and Tony come dancing to rap music from the kitchen with Sly carrying a boom box on his shoulder ) Lorena; Oh, that dispicable slime bag! You're losing do something romantic! (Tiff stands on chair, Jakes gets on 1 knee) "Oh, Romeo! Romeo! Where for arthou Romeo!" Surf girl: "Dude, its Romeo and Juliet's balcony scene. Act 2 Scene 2. Surf dude: "Whoa, Shakespeare Rules!" Sly: Heat! We need heat! Tony: I don't care that you dated Dylan, Brandon and everyone in the 90210 area. I still love ya, Valerie. Sam: But David, I'm moving. I'll be living in 90245. Tony: 90245? Well, if you can forgive me for dating Donna I can forgive you for that huh? Kiss me. (they kiss) Surf girl: Excellent its David and Valerie from 90210. Lorena: Tell me you guys know "Melrose Place?" Tiff: Sh, Lorena, I missed this episode. (School) Sign reads "Sam and Tony for Prom King and Queen" Jake and Tiff run up to the sign and try to act normal as Tony and Sam pass by. After they leave, Jake and Tiffani put up their prom poster. Night time - Sly is dressed in black and staples new Tony and Sam sign over Jake and Tiffs sign Lorena is also dressed in black and comes sliding down a rope (from the roof, I guess) and unrolls a "Jake and Tiff" poster from her backpack Lorena: "Now its fun!" (She jumps for the rope and falls) (Next Day) Sign reads: "Vote for Prom King and Queen" Jake and Tiff and Sam and Tony are pacing the hallway Surf dude walk in and they plaster him with buttons and bumper stickers to vote for them. Tiff: You're gonna vote for a fellow surfer, aren't ya? Sam: Oh, she's not really a surfer...I heard she said she would love to live in Pittsburgh! Surf dude: Whoa, back off campaign dudes! You're drowning me in a sea of pressure Tiff: Sorry, we just got a little excited Surf dude: Besides, I already votes All: For who?! Suf dude: Ah! Lifeguard! (Runs out the door, Sly gets thrown out of the voting room; wearing a mustache) Tiff: Sly? Were you trying to vote twice? Sly: (Italian accent) Sly? Who is Sly? (Jake rips off mustache and Sly says "ow" putting his hand to his lips) Tiffani: I can't believe anyone would wear souch a stupid disguise. (Lorena gets thrown out of voting room wearing a beard) Tony: Well, well well. If it isn't old man Lorena Lorena; Lorena? Who is Lorena? Sly: Trying to vote twice? You disgust a-me! Jake: That's it. I can't believe how this is turning out. You know Sam and Tony you are gonna have to back out Sam: What? Jake: Yeah, you know when Tiff said we should all run for King and Queen she wasn't thinking. When it comes to proms, she gets all stupid and sryupy. (taps Jake on shoulder) Tiffani: Excuse me Jake...WHAT?! Jake: Oh come on Tiff, its true. This year you invite them in, last year you kissed that guy- Tiff: Oh, you are never gonna let me live that down are you? Jake: No, I don't think I will, in fact -- (starts fighting, Tony and Sam on the side) Tony: Well, well, well. They're having fun now aren't they? Sam: Yeah It seems like some people just can't take the pressure Tony: Yeah, that's why I decided we should stay in the race Sam: You decided? What dream did that happen in ? Tony: The same dream where your butt wanted to back out and let them wear my crown! Sam: Oh shut up king ego-man! Tony (holds up hand): Don't you mock me! Don't you dare mock me! (Sam and Tony start fighting) (Mark comes in ) Tony: Mark did you vote yet? Mark: I can't even think about voting, Erica dumped me. Sam: Oh Mark, that's terrible. How can you not vote? Mark: She got back together will her old boyfriend, I'm totally bummed. Jake: And we're there for ya man, but vote first, it will take your mind off it. (Everyone pushes Mark toward the door) Lorena: Hold it! Everyone just hold it! I know how to end all this fighting! Mark: At last, someone who can talk some sense. Everyone listen to Lorena. Lorena: I hearby declare myself prom queen, case closed! (yelling some more with everyone, Sly's alarm on watch goes off) Sly: Hold it! Its time to get dressed and play the junior high gig! Now! Everyone: I'll drive!! (Runs for the door, with Mark walking slowly behind them) (In the van) Sly: That was the worst gig in the history of music. First Sam forgets the words, and Tiff blows and amp -- Tiffani: And now thanks to Mr. Prom-Screwer-Upper's wonderful sense of direction, we're lost. Jake; Hey, I know exactly where we are. We're in the middle of...uh, some very dark woods. Sly: Just great! Low and behold the great road warrior, I'm gonna drive! I'm gonna get us to the prom on time. (Van stops and Jake turns around to look at Sly) Sly: I'm gonna die Jake: Shut up! This stupid hunk of junk stalled again. Lorena: Just start it Jake, we're already gonna be late for the prom. Sly: Come on. (Jake tries to start the van, nothing works) Jake: Uh, oh! (In the woods, Jake has his jacket off and sleeves rolled up trying to fix the van. The gang is sitting on some rocks) Jake: Oh okay, that should hold it, start it up and we'll be on our way. (Sly tries to start the van and nothing) Jake; Ahhh! I'll try again. Tiffani (sitting on rock we hear her "thinking") I can't believe I'm gonna miss my Senior Prom - this stinks! Lorena: When I get out of here, I'm never gonna speak to these people again! Tony: I gotta go to the bathroom! (heads for the woods but hears a noise) I can wait! Sam: (outloud) Well, if we don't get out of here soon, we're gonna miss the first dance. Not that there's anyone here I wanna dance with! Jake: Well, that's it. I can't fix it without a new distributor cap. Lorena; Why don't you just go get one? Jake: Oh, good idea! I'll just got puck one off the distributor cap bush. I hope I find a ripe one. Mark: Guys Look! A Car! Lorena: Lets flag them down, maybe they'll take us to the prom. Tiffani: Guys, be careful, it could be a maniac. Sly: Don't be ridicoulous Tiffani: Fine, don't listen. I saw this movie about these teenagers that were lost in the woods. A farmer pulls up...everyone thought they were saved, but the farmer didn't take them home. Instead he ground them up and used them as fertilizer. Tony: Oh, that's dumb! That would never happen Farmer: Can I give you well-dressed younguns a lift? Ha ha ha! All: Go away, get outta here! Tony: I hope your corn dies! (next scene) Lorena is sitting on a rock and she goes to stand up, her dress rips. Lorena: Okay everyone listen up, I have an important annoucement to make. I hate this place, I hate this place, I hate it! Tiff: Oh, put a sock in it sister! Tony: Would you guys keep it down? I just got the school radio station. Radio voice: Okay, its time to announce PCH's prom King and Queen. Sam: This is it, turn it up! Radio voice; Whoa! talk about upseta-roma dudes! PCH's King and Queen are Erica Hanson and Dave Barlow! Sam: What? Sly: Hey, Mark, isn't Erica the girl who dumped you? Mark: Yeah, that's her. Sly: So this is your fault! Mark: My fault? Sly: Yeah, she could never have won with you as a partner. Sam and Tony lost because she dumped you! Lorena: No, it means Tiff and Jake lost because she dumped him! (shouting) Mark: Stop it! Stop! I'm sick of this! You took a stupid popularity contest and made it more important than the people you love. This could have been the best night of our lives, but you ruined it with your endless competiting. Now excuse me if I don't feel being around you guys right now. (goes in the van) Tiff: He's right. Look at us. Lost in the woods, fighting on prom night. Sam: I just got lost in winning so much I didn't see what a jerk I was being Lorena; You gotta admit, that Mark Winkle is one smart guy (noise from the van) Sly: Oh yeah, then how come he locked himself in the van? Mark: Help! Help! (Jake and Tony get the doors open) Mark: Thanks guys. Jake; Mark, we deserve what you said to us. Tony: Yeah, man we're sorry. Erica dumped you, that's cold man. Tiff: Yeah, but not as cold as your friends not being there for you Sam: And if its not to late, we're hear for you now Lorena: Oh, group hug! Whoa! (They stumble back and forth about to fall, the fall, laugh and get up) Lorena: Just because we don't have fancy limos or dinners, doesn't mean we still can't have our prom. ITs a pretty nice spot actually. Tony: Yeah, its a beautiful night...as long as we're together. Sam: Tony, I'm sorry for all the mean things I said to you.l Tony: Yeah, me too Sam. I love you. Now if you excuse me, I still have to go to the bathroom. (hears noise again) I can still wait! Jake: Tiff, I really wanted to make up for last year and make this the best prom ever but-- Tiff: But...just cause we're not at school, doesn't mean we can't have the best prom ever. Jake: (takes her hand) You'll always be my prom queen Tiff. Lorena; Sly? You wouldn't wanna dance with the most spoiled selfish woman on earth would you? Sly: It would be a dream come true. If you don't mind dancing with the worldest biggest, but cutest, slime ball. (She shakes her head and he puts his jacket over her shoulders) Mark playing guitar on a rock and Sam and Tony, Tiff and Jake and Sly and Lorena are dancing). Jake sings "Too Much To Dream" "Bright lights, Big stars, big dreams This town ain't what it seems Where was I going When I left you What did I think I was gonna do. I had too much to dream last night Hey now do you know what I mean Its all different in the daylight. I had to too much to dream." The End!